It Takes a Neighborhood to Raise...A Gingerbread Roof

There is a reason why my mother never had us make gingerbread houses growing up. A very good reason which I have recently discovered (as of 2 1/2 weeks ago and continuing into this evening). This reason is also why I didn't get my planned post written and ready for the morning. Currently I'm saturated with candy (Why oh why oh why did I eat that much?) and tired after spending the last few hours attempting to construct a gingerbread house (I know, I know, I'm about a lifetime and a month late). Mostly the sugar is getting to me (and I'm working on a new habit of writing in the morning instead of when I'm supposed to sleep -oh, and it's bedtime right about an hour ago). Seriously, why, Meaghan? You know better.

Around Christmas we were thinking of things we could do that would be Christmasy. For the first time, it'd just be my parents, my sister, and I. My dad's suggestion was gingerbread houses, but we all got sick, and nothing happened. Around New Years' my mom and I made the dough. A few days later we cut it out and baked it.

Now I'm a decent baker. I make good stuff, but growing up, my mom was always careful about how much sugar we ate so dessert of any kind was rare. There's things about cookie baking that I don't know. Like sometimes people forget the importance of making sure you roll cookie dough out evenly because you mostly don't make cookies the size of walls. Also cookie dough does rise. And sometimes unevenly, especially if the cookie sheet you cook them on has a bowed in base. Also something you might not consider when you make smaller cookies. Lopsided cookies are great. Lopsided walls/roofs/bases? Not so much.

2 1/2 weeks later...You know how they call the stuff sugar 'cement' that keeps the walls of a gingerbread house together? Here's some advice: There's a reason why they call it that. This cement stuff is just white sugar, and I've never melted it in a pan on the burner before. I didn't know how it worked. But one minute it was still sugar, next minute it was clumping and sticking, then it was syrup. As soon as it turned to syrup, we hurried to dip the edges of our lopsided walls and roofs into it and stick them together. Another small issue with this cement - it's hot (which...makes sense...but when you're making houses in madness, you forget). Six hands were present, but six hands were not enough.

With six hands present (and six hands not enough), we got the biggest house put together, and as we stuck the last roof section on, we noticed that the syrup had dangled off the spoon and turned into brittle string (and cement - if this should happen to you and you're worried about the pan, just boil water in it until all the cement melts off the sides. Also careful with your teeth. This stuff is hard). Great - because we only had three more houses to make. Mad rush ensues. Unlike other situations, the first time was the charm - the house you see in the pictures (quality isn't the best. Didn't plan on them being blog-worthy, just memory keeping) because all the others fell apart.

But in the midst of the crazy and not exactly as planned, I had a great time, especially in the actual decorating. This part was just my mom and I, and that was okay. It was late, but we weren't in a hurry. And it made the whole attempt worthwhile. Who cares about perfection? I'm delighted by the finished result. It might be lopsided and silly, but it is gloriously lopsided and silly.

I have other baking accomplishments that have turned out looking great, but so many of them are things I did by myself. And this isn't. It was art, in a way. It might look like eight-year-old art, but it was a lot freer than what I've been doing lately. Instead of being frozen, I just thought 'what if we made a pathway with the walls of one of the houses that didn't make it?' and did it. So do things like this. Do things with other people that might turn out into a wonderful mess (and mess it was. We had bits of brittle sugar cement everywhere). Perfectionism is crippling. It wasn't until recently that I realized how imprisoned I am by it.

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What about you? Have you ever made a gingerbread house? If you have, was it created from scratch or one of those kits? And if you made some wonderful gingerbread house from scratch, how? Just how? Any other baking mishaps (on the surface, anyway)? Last time I decorated dessert was when I made melting snowman cookies with some friends.

Music (January 2018 Edition)

A couple years back I wrote a music column for a local Christian Newspaper. I had a blast highlighting different Indie artists who also happened to be Christians. After doing it for a year, I stopped, but my love of music hasn't changed nor my joy in discovering new artists. Because of that love (And the fact a couple of you appreciated my last post on music!!), I decided I'd try a new series on music, highlighting 5 different songs each month. Tell me what you think of this idea in the comments!

1. The Throwback 

Once in awhile a song will pop out of nowhere taking me back to when all my siblings lived at home. Being the youngest, I was subject to everyone else's music for the longest amount of time, and little bits of songs ended up stored inside of my mind (for ever and ever and ever). Songs I didn't even know were there until years later.

This one was played by my eldest brother in his oldies phase, and I actually kinda like it. 

'Don't Sleep in the Subway' - Petula Clark

2. The Instrumental 

You can never have too many instrumentals for your novel writing, right? I don't think I could successfully make any music list without putting Sleeping at Last on it. This instrumental is one in an album he created to go alongside a non-profit organization's tenth anniversary video. The buildup. Those strings and background vocalizations make it haunting <3

'One in Ten' - Sleeping at Last

3. The International

Wasn't sure how to word this category perfectly, but here is where I highlight musicians I've discovered from different countries or who are strongly influenced by different countries' musical styles.

Joy Ike was born to Nigerian immigrants, and she says a lot of her music has Nigerian influences.

'Don't Ever Die' - Joy Ike

4. The Newest Addition

I have Rachel Platten's first two CDs but didn't realize she had another one out till recently. This song to her grandma was one of the songs that stuck out when I gave the CD a listen. 

'Hands' - Rachel Platten

5. Just Another Song to Make it #5 (Sorta)

This will just be where I put songs that don't fit in the other categories, but you should listen to anyway =)

I discovered Katie Herzig via Noisetrade.com and have fallen more in love with her music ever since. 

'Lost and Found' - Katie Herzig 

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Have you heard any of these songs? Know these artists? If not, what did you think? What are some of your new song discoveries/old favorites? What do you think of a regular music-themed post? 

I would also like to thank my newest followers for the follow! I always try to visit your blogs, but it's hard sometimes for me to even know whether you have blogs, let alone find them. So please, put your blog links down in the comments! I'd love to go visit your corner of the universe =)

To Plant Some Hope

I want to plant a tree.

I want to plant some hope

So that everyone who looks might believe,

Even when inside I don't. 

I want to patch these holes 

-My holes -

With something better yet,

A patchwork more noble

Because of who I know.

I want to reflect more than myself

When others look inside my eyes.

They needn't see the holes I see 

Or everyday compromise.

I want to make believe 

Something is growing deep inside 

-A quality you'd want to find,

Or some dying piece of self

Who gives more growth in death

Than ever does with life,

Or maybe just a seedling 

Whose presence surprises

And whose purpose can't be discovered.

I don't want to wait,

But growing things takes patience

And maybe a little break

From the sun's strong face

Or from the drought which dries a soul.

I want to plant a tree.

I want to plant some hope,

And maybe both will start

In the garden of my heart. 

2017

We sat in the family room, all in a circle, discussing the highlights of the past year. It wasn't New Years' Eve. On New Years' Eve, we were all in bed by 12. I hadn't been asleep when the numbers turned to 1/1/18. Noises from outside came through. Revving engines from a neighbor. Fireworks filling the valley. In some ways, it didn't seem much like a new year was coming around. Even later when we sat in the circle, it was hard to know where 2017 had gone.

The passage of time has always left me feeling a little melancholy. When we're supposed to be rejoicing in a new year, a new day, a new slate, I have difficulty letting that slate be wiped completely clean. I have the mindset of 'another year, another day - how can I muck this up? How can I waste another year?' But it's not all concentrated on what I can do to mess things up. It's also like 'what can life throw at us now?' - A general resistance to the very things that will leave us, if we let them, looking a little more like Christ. A resistance because growing hurts, especially when you look back and wonder if these hard things changed you at all.

So, Happy New Year, right?

I guess September swallowed all the seconds of 2017 and made me forget the before and the after and pressed against us until our cracks started to show. Because there was good things.

In the beginning of June I went to South Carolina. First time flying by myself. First time to North and South Carolina where I met my penpal's family. And drank sweet tea and waded in the Atlantic and saw an Alligator in the wild. And those nasty small ticks. And went kayaking all over a lake.

I bought a kayak because kayaking is fun and just another excuse to explore and go to the mountains and exercise.

I did a three-month writing mentorship, and I think I learned some things. And I hope I did, but I did let someone read a lot more of my writing than I had ever let anyone else read.

An article I wrote was published, just on a blog of a new magazine, but it's a start.

I wrote a load of poetry, and some of it was actually good.

I finished Duolingo's entire German course. It took four years, but now I'm going to read Heidi in German. And I started Spanish because when you have to watch kittens for too many hours in a day, you can only do small tasks, not writing.

My brother visited, and we went hiking twice, and I fell in love with my mountains all over again and Autumn days in the mountains are magical. And I remembered why my brother was my best friend growing up.

We also had an amazing Winter with snow on the ground till March, and it was amazing to me because I love snow, and there was just so much of it!

Instagram and photography! I had forgotten how fun photography was. And I actually printed something I took and have it framed on the wall, and it's the best thing ever.

I got a piano. A real one. I just have to find some place in my room to tuck it and someone to tune it.

In the middle of blistering Summer, we walked through a very long and cold, old train tunnel. And had a picnic on the other side, and did I mention I need to hike and explore more often?

I read a lot more books that I actually liked! 

*Insert random, awkward, stressful comment about dating for the first time* 

We fostered a baby squirrel for a month and a half and called him Houdini. Fostering baby squirrels is something normal people do, right?

Also fostered five kittens for a month. Stinky Inky, Crabby Tabby, Tabby Tu-Tu, Hunky Dum Dum, and Pansy.

Watched a live performance of Frostiana, a collection of Robert Frost poems, put to music. It was so beautiful.

And the symphony celebrated John Williams' 85th Birthday with a performance of his music. Star Wars Theme? Jurassic Park Theme? Indiana Jones? Yes! So fun.

My mom is healthy. And that might seem a small thing to say, but in September, she was in the hospital for ten days, and it was a very exhausting and worrisome time. And even though it was just ten days, our whole year was somehow shrunk into those ten days. It was probably a month, a month and a half, before things became more normal again, but for a while, I didn't think it would ever be normal.

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Sometimes it's hard to remember everything that happens in a year. And it's much easier to remember the bad parts and then stop there. And sometimes it's easy to overlook the little things, the little gems because so much of the big things are still flying wildly around your head.

Big things are flying wildly around in my head, and I'm a pessimist learning to be hopeful and joy-filled, and those are the hardest things to learn, but they matter because 'The joy of the Lord is my strength' and hope is everything. And since I'm around to see a New Year, I'm around to try again and keep on learning and fighting.

Because we're going to be okay in 2018, even if I have to ink the words of life, of hope, of Love onto the palm of my hand every morning so I don't forget.

What was 2017 like for you? Highlights? Something important you learned? What is your go-to Bible verse lately?

Happy New Year!

Top Reads of 2017

At the start of 2017, I resolved to read more since life had kinda knocked reading to the side. And I did read more than previous years, but I also wrote a lot less. So mixed success? I read a total of 28 books, an increase of 11 from 2016 (Now that I actually count it, it sounds less impressive). But I did get stuck on a 650+ page book in the Summer. It's surprising I got anywhere after that. Oh, and I read Dune which probably is high on the page count (I read it on Kindle - reading on Kindle is so deceiving. You really don't know what you're getting yourself into). But without further ado, here are my top reads of 2017 (don't expect any 2017 books. I never read current books. Ever):

One Thousand Gifts & The Broken Way - Ann Voskamp

There is one reason why I don't review books (well, two, actually. I kinda like books few and far between). When I like them, I have no adequate words to describe why.

Ann Voskamp has an amazing gift with words. She writes poetically raw and achingly real about her life and her struggles. Her fight for joy and thanksgiving and a full life. That's why I like her writing - so much of the time it echoes my own questions and wonderings. My own shouts. She isn't afraid of the messy. She is familiar with despair and depression, and yet she writes about joy and thanksgiving. In the Broken Way, she writes about living with a broken heart in a broken world and how do you do that? And about loving people and sharing your broken with other people.
I have highlighted so many portions in both of her books, and I wish I could share them all with you. You all should really read these. Truly some of the best books I've read.

Hinds' Feet on High Places - Hannah Hurnard

I've mentioned this book once on the blog, and I'll mention it again. I loved it so much. This book is an allegory which is a little different. But I related so much to the main character and to the journey. It was also a very beautiful book full of inspiring words. I would say it helped my relationship with God in the same way as when I read the Chronicles of Narnia (which is saying a lot). It softened the face of God. It reminded me of His patience and compassion. He is much more merciful than me - what a hard thought.

"She did not realize that the Prince of Love is 'of very tender compassions to them that are afraid.' She supposed that, like everybody else, he was despising her for her silly fears..." 

Unoffendable - Brant Hansen

Is 'righteous' anger actually righteous? Do we have a right to be angry with people? To be offended by people, even if we know we're right and they're wrong? I'm someone who gets indignant easily so this book kinda flipped my thinking on its head. It just doesn't stop with the whole 'offendable' thing. It delves in deep asking why we get offended so easily. It shows us what we truly could do if we pushed it aside. And I love the humble way this guy writes. Sure, I'm probably gonna need to read it once a year (at least) to keep reminding myself, but I came away with something, and that's one of the things I look for in books. 

The God I Love - Joni Eareckson Tada

I've admired Joni Eareckson Tada for years, and I've read various books by her and biographies about her through the years so I had a pretty good idea of her story, but this book still highlighted different aspects of it. Her love for people, guys! And the way God has provided for her and used her as His hand in so many far-off places. And she may write so honest about her different struggles, but she is still one incredible woman. There's also something comforting in reading someone's full-life story. You can see the threads. Or they'll point out the threads. They'll point out this prayer and then the eventual answer. In her case, the answers to so many of her questions weren't what anyone could foresee or predict or what she thought she wanted. It's funny how we view things as tragedies when, as painful as it is, they're actually answers to prayers. Long read but so inspiring.

The Practice of the Presence of God -Brother Lawrence 

Brother Lawrence served as a lay brother in a monastery in France during the 1600s. This is a compilation of letters and conversations recorded between him and other people, and it is soooo good. For some reason I imagined there was less of an emotional/friend/relationship connection between people and God back then. That people regarded Jesus more reverently and holy than they do now which might impede that closeness (which is sad). But after reading this, it made me realize that there were those throughout all time who have tried to live lives in constant closeness with God. It's just interesting to think you might have something in common with a lay brother who lived in France a little less than 400 years ago. As for the subject of this book: I guess growing up, I always thought of that song by Acapella about having to 'come down from the mountaintop to the people in the valley below'. In retrospect, I'm pretty sure it's about Moses, but originally I thought that was how it worked. You might spend an hour in prayer and Bible reading in the morning, but then you eventually had to pack up and go out into the world. Brother Lawrence experienced it differently. He believed you could truly walk with God all day. You could always be in communion with Him. That your thoughts could be stayed upon Jehovah. It's a simple thought, but also kinda incredible. 

Cinder &  Scarlet - Marissa Meyer

I like reading Speculative Fiction. Or rather, I always thought I did. I had this idea of what kind of book I would like, but I kept reading Sci-Fi and being disappointed by the lack of character development, character conversation, character anything. Finally I was recommended this series, and I was not disappointed. Why do I think it's good? Because I wanted to keep reading. It's been a long time since I've wanted to keep reading a book. Or bothered picking up the second book in the series. 

I Only Want to Get Married Once - Chana Levitan

This is a very good book (obviously since it's on this list). My family has always been a little strange (according to society's standards) on relationships. No dating until you're actually able to consider marriage seriously, family-involved process, etc. But this book is a more mainstream approach to wise dating. It focuses on creating healthy relationships from the start by making wise choices from the beginning. The author gives advice on how to really end up with someone you can be married to for the rest of your life (not just leaving it to 'feelings' or fate or however the chaotic winds drop you). One thing in particular that struck me was the emphasis on values. Figure out your top three core values. Your top five. And never waver on them. You put these in place before you are dating. You tell your friends, the people who will keep you accountable if your head starts flying off. Sure, other things are important, too, but these are the solid foundation.

Conversations with a Writing Coach - Susan May Warren 

This year was the year of reading writing craft books for me (Okay, so I only read four, technically). For the most part, they don't do a whole lot for me. Here and there, something will pop out, but mostly it feels like I'm being dumped with information. Out of the books I have read, this one was my favorite. I liked the conversational style of it, and one piece of information in particular popped out:

You can set the emotional stage of the scene by what descriptions you highlight at the start or throughout it.

I had never thought of that before.

Other Reads:

To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee

Ender's Game - Scott Card Orson
The Complete Tales of Winnie-the-Pooh - A. A. Milne
Land of the Brave and the Free - Michael Philips
Writing Fiction for Dummies - Randy Ingermanson and Peter Economy
Every Young Woman's Battle - Shannon Ethridge and Stephen Arterburn
And the Bridge Wore White - Dannah Gresh
Purple Moon - Tessa Emily Hall
Jesus Among Other Gods (student version) - Ravi Zacharias andd Kevin Johnson
I, Robot - Isaac Asimov
Dune - Frank Herbert
The Name of the Wind - Patrick Rothfuss
Never Let Me Go - Kazuo Ishiguro
Dear John - Nicholas Sparks
The Giver - Lois Lowry
The New Recruit - Jill Williamson
A Novel Way -Various Authors
Revision & Self-Editing - James Scott Bell 

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So, those are my books of this year. You might notice that I mostly picked non-fiction as favorites (which is surprising even to me), and there is a definite vein through them. A lot of them made me want to love better, to serve better.  And I hope in the coming year, I am able to do that.

Have you read any of these? Are you a fiction only type of reader? A mix of both? Or are you a non-fiction reader like me? What is your top book of 2017?

Happy New Year!