Snapshots of April

Hearts are broken in ten thousand ways, for this is a heart-breaking world; and Christ is good at healing all manner of heart-breaks. - Charles Spurgeon

In April, I learned more about friendships. And people. And relationships. And communication (especially the faults of written/typed communication - for all its handiness, it can be quite destructive). And love. Sometimes you think you have those things down, or at least you think you know how they should work, but how often do they follow that set of rules in your head? (Pretty much never). I tend to linger on the side of pessimism in life (because if you don't expect much of anyone or anything, then you won't get disappointed, right?), but still, even as a pessimist, I put too much stock in people, and surprise, they disappoint because everyone is human. Everyone has some big log in front of their eye, and I get that. And not everyone's pursuit of God is the same, and I understand that, too, but I guess what surprised me is how close you can feel to someone, how you can never have disagreements over Biblical living, and then the carpet gets pulled out from underneath you.

I guess this month I learned what it's like for someone to die but not to physically die. For someone to still exist but somewhere else, somewhere they are no longer in your life. How you can love someone so much but still be unable to say anything that will remind them of that love because they've lost faith in your heart. Misunderstood hearts ache from sorrow, from indignation. Then comes the inevitable "Was I wrong?" Does love really confront or stay silent? If 'the moment you're most repelled by someone's heart is when you need to draw closer to that heart', then how do you draw close to someone's heart that has shut you out?

But even if mistakes were made, even if attempts were misguided, God can redeem them for good. And maybe I'm blunter than I think I am? And maybe being honest isn't always best, even though I promised myself to be more honest about how I feel/what I think rather than stuffing those things down in the basement (But now I'm back to feeling like stuffing things in the basement is a good idea). Like everything, I suppose it's a balance, a middle ground, and I don't know about middle grounds. Please, someone tell me you struggle with balance, too. That sometimes you're too black and white about things. And please tell me there is something good in being black and white.

My brother (the Navy nurse one) visited from the East Coast for a week towards the end of April. He came for one of his best friend's wedding. It was a short visit, but a nice break (I took most of the week off from work, but I was still tired which shows emotional things are more tiring than physically tiring activities). One day we headed up into the mountains hoping there were some hiking trails open this early in the year. It was the hottest day we've had so far, and even in the mountains it was warm. We kept driving and saw a bit of snow here and there in the forest. There were butterflies and bumble bees out. It was 72 degrees. Everything was looking pretty good...and then...on the very last section of road to the trail head, we got stuck...in the snow. It was only on the road and not really in the forest. Yup. 72 degrees. Butterflies and bumble bees and...snow. Go figure. I briefly had a moment of horror as I remembered the whole 'no cellphone service in the mountain regions of Washington', but it really wasn't hard to get the car out.

We backtracked to another pass and another trail, and it was even hotter there. Felt like a desert, really. Almost 80 degrees. The trail was in the bottom of a canyon and followed a small stream.
It was a mixture of the kind of landscape we have around our house (like the above picture) and forest, but since it had been colder up to that point, there weren't any wildflowers around and the trees hadn't leafed out. So it was desolate. Like a Winter hike but with sun and heat. Not the greatest hike, to be honest. I didn't even get any good photos. And we didn't make it to the end of the trail because my brother said it was 3 miles roundtrip...then 5 miles...then we reached the end dot on his trail app, and the trail kept going. So...he decided we'd climb up out of the canyon to at least get a view. The canyon's sides kept going, and the climbing was steep which meant we had to go back down, and going back down was definitely not my highlight. I'm pretty sure my brother was embarrassed of me, even though there was literally no one around. But since my double sprained ankle in the Winter, I didn't want to take any chances.

We were supposed to get home by an earlyish time to hang out and watch movies with the sister so on the way back, my brother was in front to set the pace (but nobody is ever gonna hurry me - 100% accurate). All of the sudden, there was a loud noise (kinda like when a cat is startled and explodes), and my brother danced back a few steps to me. About a foot and a half from the trail was a Prairie Rattlesnake all wound up and in strike mode. So...we debated our options (a. throw sticks and try to scare it away from the path. b. wait for it to move. c. try to walk around it (but the path in that area was pretty tight) or d. go back up to where we crossed the stream and follow the stream down to where it connected with the path again), and we decided to follow the stream. Going off the trail wasn't very fun because now we were super wary of meeting more rattlesnakes and we wouldn't be able to see them that well this way, and the bushes/trees grew close to the stream so we had to push through branches and stuff. Fun times.

We made it home, and my siblings forced me to stay up till 2 to play Marvel movie catch up. It was three movies (2 Guardians of the Galaxy and Thor: Ragarnok), and it was too many. I was not made for marathons. Blurgh. Especially action movie marathons because you start feeling whiplashed, and you forget all the characters names, and you wonder if Thor: Ragarnok is just a continuation of The Guardians of the Galaxy. And you eat way too much pizza, popcorn, and ice cream (actually, that didn't happen. I ate it all, and I wasn't stuffed because hiking does that to people). Yep, but it was all in preparation for Infinity War which we went to see, and now I'm Marveled out. So yeah, I guess that means I actually watched more movies this month than I have for awhile.

























I went on another hike that same weekend. It was a local one. A little over 3 miles but very beautiful. It was an overcast day. In the 60s. And the hike afforded good views of the valley, and it was in a nice little area. Sure, the landscape was some I've seen a million times, but familiar is good, too.

Otherwise:

I finished Cress in The Lunar Chronicles.

I bought two books! (Hear ye, hear ye, hear ye, this is abnormal). A book by Shannon Dittemore and a book by Jill Williamson (granted, I bought the third book in one of her series by accident. That just goes to show how good I am at book buying). Since I've followed GoTeenWriters for so long, I wanted to support them.

My calendar in my bedroom is still in February...so...that just shows you how my life is going :P

Went to a flute, bassoon, and piano concert, and I didn't fall asleep or almost fall asleep! Progress.

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How was your April? Favorite part? Least favorite part? Do you know of any books that have a similar feel to The Lunar Chronicles? I've really enjoyed those books so far, and I would love to find more like them. Do any of you run into poisonous snakes? Do you have any stories about them? (I've helped my dad kill two rattlesnakes in our yard...). Hope your May is wonderful!