Screenshots of May

Let me hide away in these pages

Because it is safe within these pages.

They can't hurt me within these pages.

So what if love can't find me here?

Love isn't some cure for hurt.

It multiplies the aftershock of angry words,

Of careless words thrown at a misunderstood heart.

Should have said it then.

Should have said it to your face.

Should have said it

Before you were in too deep.

You could have left me on the beach. 

What have we lost because we would not sacrifice ourselves? 

Your emotions are fuel for the fire,

And I've been fighting my own desire. 

I gave you a piece of my broken,

But I should have waited.

It wasn't ever what you wanted. 

Love lives long enough

For you to forget

About a life

Where you survived

Without her. 

May was filled with a couple day adventures. Horse riding in the foothills. Tandem biking by the Columbia river. And a whole lot of the outdoors and green things and planting the beautiful seedlings I started in my green house and picking my first bunch of radishes. And I started maybe realizing my garden can look beautiful even if I see the weeds that need to be pulled. And finding my peace out there again. Now I need to find my peace from day to day.

Mostly my energy was sucked up with relationships and work. I did bake two pies. Tried my hand at a strawberry-rhubarb which I made for a friend's Birthday, and I remembered how much I do love baking. And once again I remembered I can mostly do anything I put my mind to in the kitchen. Now if I only felt that way about all things life.

I'm sorry for not getting around to visit all your blogs, but I'm trying to pull myself in and start fresh. And it's definitely a challenge. I hope you all had a lovely May and your June is looking bright!

Snapshots of April

Hearts are broken in ten thousand ways, for this is a heart-breaking world; and Christ is good at healing all manner of heart-breaks. - Charles Spurgeon

In April, I learned more about friendships. And people. And relationships. And communication (especially the faults of written/typed communication - for all its handiness, it can be quite destructive). And love. Sometimes you think you have those things down, or at least you think you know how they should work, but how often do they follow that set of rules in your head? (Pretty much never). I tend to linger on the side of pessimism in life (because if you don't expect much of anyone or anything, then you won't get disappointed, right?), but still, even as a pessimist, I put too much stock in people, and surprise, they disappoint because everyone is human. Everyone has some big log in front of their eye, and I get that. And not everyone's pursuit of God is the same, and I understand that, too, but I guess what surprised me is how close you can feel to someone, how you can never have disagreements over Biblical living, and then the carpet gets pulled out from underneath you.

I guess this month I learned what it's like for someone to die but not to physically die. For someone to still exist but somewhere else, somewhere they are no longer in your life. How you can love someone so much but still be unable to say anything that will remind them of that love because they've lost faith in your heart. Misunderstood hearts ache from sorrow, from indignation. Then comes the inevitable "Was I wrong?" Does love really confront or stay silent? If 'the moment you're most repelled by someone's heart is when you need to draw closer to that heart', then how do you draw close to someone's heart that has shut you out?

But even if mistakes were made, even if attempts were misguided, God can redeem them for good. And maybe I'm blunter than I think I am? And maybe being honest isn't always best, even though I promised myself to be more honest about how I feel/what I think rather than stuffing those things down in the basement (But now I'm back to feeling like stuffing things in the basement is a good idea). Like everything, I suppose it's a balance, a middle ground, and I don't know about middle grounds. Please, someone tell me you struggle with balance, too. That sometimes you're too black and white about things. And please tell me there is something good in being black and white.

My brother (the Navy nurse one) visited from the East Coast for a week towards the end of April. He came for one of his best friend's wedding. It was a short visit, but a nice break (I took most of the week off from work, but I was still tired which shows emotional things are more tiring than physically tiring activities). One day we headed up into the mountains hoping there were some hiking trails open this early in the year. It was the hottest day we've had so far, and even in the mountains it was warm. We kept driving and saw a bit of snow here and there in the forest. There were butterflies and bumble bees out. It was 72 degrees. Everything was looking pretty good...and then...on the very last section of road to the trail head, we got stuck...in the snow. It was only on the road and not really in the forest. Yup. 72 degrees. Butterflies and bumble bees and...snow. Go figure. I briefly had a moment of horror as I remembered the whole 'no cellphone service in the mountain regions of Washington', but it really wasn't hard to get the car out.

We backtracked to another pass and another trail, and it was even hotter there. Felt like a desert, really. Almost 80 degrees. The trail was in the bottom of a canyon and followed a small stream.
It was a mixture of the kind of landscape we have around our house (like the above picture) and forest, but since it had been colder up to that point, there weren't any wildflowers around and the trees hadn't leafed out. So it was desolate. Like a Winter hike but with sun and heat. Not the greatest hike, to be honest. I didn't even get any good photos. And we didn't make it to the end of the trail because my brother said it was 3 miles roundtrip...then 5 miles...then we reached the end dot on his trail app, and the trail kept going. So...he decided we'd climb up out of the canyon to at least get a view. The canyon's sides kept going, and the climbing was steep which meant we had to go back down, and going back down was definitely not my highlight. I'm pretty sure my brother was embarrassed of me, even though there was literally no one around. But since my double sprained ankle in the Winter, I didn't want to take any chances.

We were supposed to get home by an earlyish time to hang out and watch movies with the sister so on the way back, my brother was in front to set the pace (but nobody is ever gonna hurry me - 100% accurate). All of the sudden, there was a loud noise (kinda like when a cat is startled and explodes), and my brother danced back a few steps to me. About a foot and a half from the trail was a Prairie Rattlesnake all wound up and in strike mode. So...we debated our options (a. throw sticks and try to scare it away from the path. b. wait for it to move. c. try to walk around it (but the path in that area was pretty tight) or d. go back up to where we crossed the stream and follow the stream down to where it connected with the path again), and we decided to follow the stream. Going off the trail wasn't very fun because now we were super wary of meeting more rattlesnakes and we wouldn't be able to see them that well this way, and the bushes/trees grew close to the stream so we had to push through branches and stuff. Fun times.

We made it home, and my siblings forced me to stay up till 2 to play Marvel movie catch up. It was three movies (2 Guardians of the Galaxy and Thor: Ragarnok), and it was too many. I was not made for marathons. Blurgh. Especially action movie marathons because you start feeling whiplashed, and you forget all the characters names, and you wonder if Thor: Ragarnok is just a continuation of The Guardians of the Galaxy. And you eat way too much pizza, popcorn, and ice cream (actually, that didn't happen. I ate it all, and I wasn't stuffed because hiking does that to people). Yep, but it was all in preparation for Infinity War which we went to see, and now I'm Marveled out. So yeah, I guess that means I actually watched more movies this month than I have for awhile.

























I went on another hike that same weekend. It was a local one. A little over 3 miles but very beautiful. It was an overcast day. In the 60s. And the hike afforded good views of the valley, and it was in a nice little area. Sure, the landscape was some I've seen a million times, but familiar is good, too.

Otherwise:

I finished Cress in The Lunar Chronicles.

I bought two books! (Hear ye, hear ye, hear ye, this is abnormal). A book by Shannon Dittemore and a book by Jill Williamson (granted, I bought the third book in one of her series by accident. That just goes to show how good I am at book buying). Since I've followed GoTeenWriters for so long, I wanted to support them.

My calendar in my bedroom is still in February...so...that just shows you how my life is going :P

Went to a flute, bassoon, and piano concert, and I didn't fall asleep or almost fall asleep! Progress.

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How was your April? Favorite part? Least favorite part? Do you know of any books that have a similar feel to The Lunar Chronicles? I've really enjoyed those books so far, and I would love to find more like them. Do any of you run into poisonous snakes? Do you have any stories about them? (I've helped my dad kill two rattlesnakes in our yard...). Hope your May is wonderful!

Snapshots of March

So many dreams, but only so much time and strength. God, refrain the madness of this fool. God, grant mercy to this hopeless heart. 

March. Hmm. I'm a little late to this, but honestly, for awhile, I couldn't even remember what I did last month. I struggled a lot of the month with burnout (and I'm still working through that). There's so much I want to do, and it's difficult to put limits on myself because if there's a will, there's a way, right? At least that's what I've told myself a lot, but I actually read in March the idea that your 'will' can become an idol. Some people are super strong-willed. They have a lot of doggedness, and it keeps them from truly trusting God to give them the strength and also the wisdom to know what is theirs to carry and what isn't. 

That's me, though. I've run on will for a loooonnnnggg time. Years, and honestly, I'm starting to fray. So I'm trying to take a step back. To pull my loose threads from everywhere they've become entangled. It's hard to admit you've spread yourself too thin and you've bitten off more than you can chew because pride and will. But sometimes you have the heart and not the strength. And sometimes after awhile of running on heart, your heart begins to suffer. I have a lot to work through.  

There's a church that has concerts the second Sunday of each month, except for the Summer months, and because of connections, they're able to host some pretty awesome classical musicians. In March they had a classical guitarist perform. A man originally from Great Britain but who is currently the artist in residence at the University of Washington in Seattle. 1. It's amazing what people can do on guitars. 2. Guitar music is very, very soothing (confession: I almost fell asleep). It's also inspiring to see someone who has devoted their life to their passion and become excellent in it. 

On St. Patrick's Day, we went to the Symphony for their special Irish concert. We sat on the ground floor for a change instead of being up in the rafters, but I prefer the cheaper seats because you have a fuller view of all the musicians. The first half of the concert was something Felix Mendelssohn composed after seeing Ireland. I'm not usually a fan of the Romantics (I prefer the Baroque period), but it was a beautiful piece but probably the longest I've ever listened to live. Not sure how I feel about that. (and I won't mention that I almost fell asleep here, too. Guys, this is getting bad). 

The second half was St. Brendan's Voyage, and they had a special guest who played the Uilleann  pipes. This was so worth it. I'm glad I paid the extra to go because can I just say I love pipes? (My best friend informed me that she would never come to visit if I bought pipes. And my sister said she'd kill me). St. Brendan's Voyage is a set of songs inspired by an Irish legend of a man sailing from Ireland to Newfoundland in 5th century. It's very dramatic, and I've always loved music that tells a story, especially when it's instrumentals. One song in the set of music is a reel, and I could barely keep my foot from tapping. 

The only movie I remember watching this month is 'I Can Only Imagine' which we went to see in the theaters. I'm always skeptical of Christian movies (please, no more 'God's Not Dead' movies. Just no), but I've watched all the other Erwin Brother films, and they have overall impressed me (October Baby, Moms' Night Out, and Woodlawn). And it was interesting to see them do a film about real people (and seeing the actors they got to play a young Michael W. Smith and Amy Grant). The quality is up there, and there wasn't any cringy Christian moments that we've grown accustomed to. So I'm glad it's getting the buzz it has been getting. I enjoy when a sturdy film that is considered an 'underdog' surprises everyone. 

I didn't get a lot of reading done. Mostly I ended up chugging away at the Boundary book I mentioned in last month's wrap-up and finished that. Then I worked on a 400 page, small print (I dislike small print so much) Historical Fiction novel taking place in WWII. Now I'm reading a book about gardening! I'm sure you'd just love for me to talk about that (I'm actually enjoying the read...so...go figure...).

And as far as writing goes, not as much as I wish. About 15 and a 1/2 hours of writing in the month. BUT I did sent the first 9 chapters to a friend, and she sent me this:

So the question I have to ask myself is why on earth I'm not finished getting the silly thing edited? Because life, folks, and falling asleep at random. But I hope this month (or next month. Let's be practical) I'll do an introduction for this book. So that'll be fun.

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How was your month? What was the highlight of it? Have you watched 'I Can Only Imagine'? What's your favorite Christian film? Do you have any St. Patrick's day traditions? What do you think of the cover my friend made? This is the first time I've ever gotten a cover for any of my stories, but I usually do just about the bare bones for my stories (writing them. no pictures or plotting or planning :P). Have you ever made covers for your stories? I hope you're all well!

Snapshots of February

*please note: all pictures taken by me except the title image. Ask permission before use.*

I think Spring might actually, in fact, be here now. At the beginning of February, the wildflowers showed up, but then the temperatures slumped to 14 degrees. That was painful. But now we're back on track. The wildflowers are trying Spring out again, and Spring is working. I'm still biting the bit to get started with planting my garden (I know, I know. I said that in Snapshots of January, but really, this month it's going to happen, and you'll then get bombarded with pictures of my garden).  I made the mistake of going into the gardening enter at Walmart. Oops. I managed to escape having only bought seed starting soil, those biodegradable pots, and four packets of seeds. Banana peppers, Kaleidoscope Sweet Pepper mix, Mammoth Basil, and all-season Cabbage (which I'm super excited about. Supposedly it's drought and heat tolerant, and since I actually grew a 9 pound cabbage head last year, I am optimistic...so...fingers crossed). I could go on and on about my excitement for dirt and green things, but I'll stop before your eyes go crossed. 

I ended up taking three more weeks of dancing lessons. We were just getting the hang of the Waltz, and then we changed to Rumba which I had mixed feelings about. Latin dances include something called 'Cuban motion', and I'm not a fan of that. Heh. But I went with it, and we were getting Rumba, too, since it's basis isn't too different than Waltz. Someone said we were looking good so that's an encouraging sign. Even when you imagine you're doing alright, you kinda dread the idea of looking at yourself through someone else's eyes. Sadly, we didn't finish the lessons because my partner moved to the other side of the state.

I'm starting to gain ground with my writing again, but it's been a fight. I keep trying to find a better time because lately, by the end of the day, I'm just exhausted. Silly life, always getting all dramatic on me. But I've finally finished the 2nd draft editing on a Post-Apocalyptic entitled 'Bridge'.  I feel like this is the farthest I've gotten on a book, even though I excavated a book for (at least) four years once (an experience I really don't want to talk about). I'll be reading through this book one more time before I send it to my brother for a read-through. I'm cautiously excited? Anyone else want to sacrifice themselves as an alpha reader? 

During February I read one book. Some Kind of Happiness by Claire Legrand, and I actually enjoyed it. Last Summer I  had noticed it on a bookshelf and admired the cover (and the title, honestly), but since I don't really pick up books on random, I bypassed it. Much later a fellow blogger did a mini-review on it, and it was enough of a push to give the book a try, and I'm so glad I did! It makes me happy to find more fiction books that I enjoy (now that I'm old and view everything with such cynicism. Ahem). I wish I had that book to read when I was younger.

 Now I'm stuck on a non-fiction recommendation. Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend. Do you ever get really self-conscious or suspicious when people give you a recommendation of a non-fiction, 'life improvement' kind-of book? Anywho, there's a lot of good and interesting parts (especially about the importance of raising children with boundaries) in these pages, but I'm also having some troubles with certain points they're making. Or scripture they use to reinforce their points. I guess it's been awhile since I've actually disagreed with a Christian book. Or maybe I just feel like it's only caused me more anxiety by pulling me in yet another direction by one more opinion? Any of you read it? If so, what did you think?

 I watched Black Panther in the theaters the weekend it came out. I went with a guy who's originally from Kenya which was neat because afterwards he told me where different aspects of the Wakanda culture had come from. It was definitely a cool/new feel for a Marvel movie, and that was good. Have you watched it? What did you think? I found the music to be interesting. And the transition between the styles of music.

I kinda need to watch more movies to refill my 'love of stories' bar (since I'm stuck in non-fiction currently), but I keep falling asleep instead. I've reached the age where nothing good or profitable can happen after 9 o'clock in the evening.

I also helped a friend move to Seattle. It was a spur of the moment thing for me, but even if it involved about six hours of riding in a car (which I normally avoid at all costs), it was fun. And I got some awesome pictures, and I was able to see the mountains in Winter which is something I don't get to do ever. Isn't it so beautiful??

The Cascades truly leave me awestruck. God's glory is written all over them.  I sometimes try to imagine the acres and acres of evergreen trees all covered in snow. And how complete the silence would be out under them. We see such a small portion of this world, and even what we see leaves us speechless. Can you fathom the hidden beauties?

Highlight of the month? Yeah, probably this. There's nothing quite like good conversation, good music (thanks to me :P), and beautiful scenery.

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What was your February like? What was your highlight? Have you read any of the books I mentioned? Have you seen Black Panther yet? Tell me about anything and everything in the comments! 

Snapshots of January

The wind is howling. It rages down the hillside and throws itself at the corner of the house where my bedroom is. We don't have wind like this in February, but we also don't have 62 degree days, and we've had both in the last twenty-four hours. I have to keep reminding myself it's only February (in fact, I accidentally made the above graphic say 'February' instead of 'January' the first three times I edited it), and sometimes I catch myself and realize it's already February. 

This is just the irrigation pond that's on the property. Yesterday I saw ducks already around it. I hope it doesn't dry up before April when it's filled. 

January was long. And short. It was filled with gray days when all the colors became the same and only a little snow. I didn't take as many pictures, but I did go on walks. In fact I went on two trails in the valley that I haven't been on for years. One was more of a wilderness trail that follows a creek inside a canyon (more my style). And the other goes along the freeway from one side of the valley to the other. We didn't go the whole way, but we did manage to see some bald eagles along the river. Both are more popular trails (and we did them on the weekend when the weather was gorgeous) which is alright, but I prefer hikes where there isn't a whole lot of people. I guess I'm spoiled because I've lived out from the city all my life, but fresh air and exercise and sunshine and just having an excuse to be outside is always good. 

I started waltz lessons which wasn't anticipated. About ten years ago, I had learned the basic step but didn't go any farther. Now I've been sucked in. The senior center has open lessons, and we've gone twice so far. It's been a very interesting experience for me, and I think it'll help my self-consciousness. I'll either die of embarrassment or stop caring what other people think. Thankfully I've chosen the latter in this situation because last lesson, the instructor used me as his partner while he demonstrated a step. No biggie. I wasn't freaking out at all.

In January I can't help thinking about gardening. In spite of my garden flopping the last three years, I am always drawn to the outdoors. I'm drawn to the outdoors even though there's a month and a half till I can possibly plant the first things (it's torture). This year I've been contemplating straw bale gardening. It'd give my garden plot a rest, and maybe it would keep me being able to garden even as I collect more working hours and my responsibilities increase. But I'm also going to invest in one of those handy compost tumblers (where you put the compostables in and are able to turn it with a handle as opposed to a garden fork). It's all pretty exciting. I'm hoping these plans will come to fruition because there is something hopeful about a garden that grows. And when you have the growing bug, you have to be outside everyday to weed and water and plant and harvest. You just have to, and it breaks your heart if all your work gives you weeds. If you don't have the growing bug...well, there's no hope you'll understand.

Unexpectedly I ended up watching two movies in the theater. The Greatest Showman and Darkest Hour. Very, very different movies. I anticipated liking The Greatest Showman more out of the two, but I ended up liking Darkest Hour the best. I won't say anything about The Greatest Showman because I'll probably be shot; so I'll just talk about Darkest Hour. It's the story of Winston Churchill. More specifically the first month or so of when he was in office. It coincides with the time of Dunkirk. I've read a lot of Historical Fiction over the years. I never really, really enjoyed it, but there is something about historical movies that strike a chord with me (and I had forgotten this), especially stories about events that have obviously been touched by God. I am astounded when I see God's incredible mercy and provision. Sometimes there are details left out when stories are told that make them ten times more amazing. Little aspects that played an important part in the bigger picture.  But then with Darkest Hour, there were these small moments that I appreciated too, along with the way the characters were brought to life. Conversations Winston Churchill had with his wife. With his King. It's much more of a historical drama than a war movie. It reminded me of Amazing Grace in some ways. Lots of political arguments in the British Parliament and British humor.

 A couple days ago the red-wing blackbirds returned. The hawks built their nest in the neighbor's towering tree (and hopefully it hasn't blown down in this wind). The robin was back and taking a bath in the giant puddle we have in our driveway. The birds are singing in the trees every morning, and the first wildflower popped up out of the mud. Yes, it's spring, and it's time to come alive again.

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What was January like for you? When do things start feeling Springish in your neck of the woods? Have you taken any sort of dance lessons? If you haven't, would you consider doing it? 

Snapshots of November (And Words)

The passage of time can get me feeling blue too easily. It's something I've struggled with for a long time. And when you feel like you haven't been using the time given to you to its fullest potential, you stumble down the path of asking what is the point of every single thing you do. Not a great place to be. But then Tracey over at her blog included a verse in one of her posts about something else, and it's funny how you might read the Bible year after year and still miss or forget so many essential verses. 

So, my dear brothers and sisters, be strong and immovable. Always work enthusiastically for the Lord, for you know that nothing you do for the Lord is ever useless. - 1 Corinthians 15:58

NOTHING YOU EVER DO FOR THE lORD IS EVER USELESS. 

If only I knew that. And remembered that. And took it to heart. And tattooed it to my arm. Because all that is left for me to do is take each day as it comes and commit the things I do to the Lord. And I pray that He will make the things I do have worth and value. But it's frustrating how forgetful I am. 

Without further ado. This is my month. It won't (probably) be as long as last month's rambles. 

On November 5th marked twelve years of consistent journaling with maybe one erratic year and a few days here and there. So lots of very mundane days were documented. I always love how my little self would end the day's entry with 'It was a good day'. Where are you, little self?

I honestly haven't been doing much baking of late which makes me sad, but I did experiment with baking Moroccan bread (because it tasted so good at the Moroccan restaurant we went to last month in Seattle). As it ends up, the bread is actually really simple. You just make a pretty regular bread dough and add whole funnel. The funnel bit is strong off and on, but I didn't get around to making the salad they sometimes eat with it (which would even out the flavor). Oh, I also finished my garden's zucchini off in bread and made two pies for Thanksgiving (although not pictured, they were wonderful). One Apple and the other Sweet Potato pie.

Then this happened on the 5th of November. Kinda out of the blue. We haven't had snowfall in November for quite a few years. And it was a very wet 2-3 inches, but I enjoyed it. I always do, but you'll notice how the majority of the leaves are still on the trees? Made an interesting contrast. Also reminded me of when it snowed on top of the wildflowers in Springtime. It's such a joy living in one place long enough to end up seeing the little quirks.

A couple days after the snowfall, when most of the snow had melted, I went with my mom to a little college town just North of here. I've been meaning to get my passport since April, but we couldn't ever get a hold of the main branch of the USPS in town and the security/parking at the county courthouse is a pain; so off to another town we went. They're also the county seat of their county, but their courthouse was much more manageable. Less security. Friendly and helpful people. And I got a good(ish) passport picture to boot.

I don't have any plans to travel somewhere exotic, but Washington's drivers' licenses are not up to Federal standards so we won't be able to fly anywhere without a passport come January. While up there, we went for lunch and did some shopping. Although the town is smaller, because they have a college, they've managed to keep their downtown alive. On the way back, we took the backroad through the canyon (as opposed to over the three ridges), and I took a bazillion pictures out the car window. The contrasts were gorgeous.

The snow went all away. The leaves finally fell. I was out raking every spare minute (still haven't finished), and I remembered how much I love being outdoors. We have a leafblower, but there was just something about being out in the cold that makes me come alive.

I was tagged on Instagram to do a black & white, everyday photo challenge for 7 days. I was a bit worried at the start but ended up enjoying it. I haven't really ever taken staged photos or ones in black & white so it was different but definitely something I'll pursue. I guess it still holds the charms I like about photography, period. I enjoy sharing what I see with other people, but I also like experimenting with different perspectives. Catching things in a different light or catching things that most eyes just glance over.

Isn't the reflection totally awesome? I never even noticed until I was trying to take a creative picture of the cello without a decent background or real awesome lighting.

This is the only instrument featured that's actually mine (Although I might be getting a piano soon). I learned guitar on my brother's. When he moved out, I was afraid he'd take his guitar (he actually didn't) so I bought a mini Taylor guitar out of Koa wood. It's beautiful. I only wish I played better. 

So I ended up spraining my ankle the week of Thanksgiving which meant I was pretty inactive for an entire week (minus the pie making part). It was the same week my grandma was back in the hospital with an infection. So when I say Thanksgiving didn't exist. It didn't. We had cheesy hotdogs for dinner because that was the only food existing in the house. Yeah...But our Thanksgivings have never been traditional. My dad has always worked strange schedules. We've hardly ever had an immediate family, traditional Thanksgiving meal. We just waited to eat with my mom's family, but as people grow older, even what little traditions we have still change.  As it was, we did eat with my grandma the Saturday after Thanksgiving. Turkey, apple and raisin stuffing, pie, spinach pie, yams & apples, apple salad, etc. (With that menu, does it surprise you that my grandpa was an apple orchardist?). It was good.

Oh yeah, the whole spraining the ankle part was actually supposed to lead into saying I actually drew some this month. And the face wasn't half bad for having not drawn a face since last May. Second eyes still stink, though. So...I could probably ramble on endlessly because I'm good at that, but I'll stop. Right now. Right here.




Do you keep a journal? Remember the first day you ever journaled? How was your Thanksgiving? Any interesting traditions? What about the food? Favorite pies? Any of you have a passport? Where'd you go if you could go anywhere? If you've already traveled some internationally, where do you think I should go? Any of you play instruments? What kind?

Speak. I will listen. I will reply (before you die...or maybe not).

Snapshots of October (And Words, Lots of Words)

Please skim to your heart's content, or you'll probably hate my ramblingness. I just haven't gone all out in rambles for awhile so I let myself. 

I've never considered myself brave or adventurous. I've gone places, but I've always loved home. My room, my bed, my blankets, my pillows. The coming back always made the going away worth it. Yet, as I look back over the past year and a half, I find myself looking at someone else. Someone who isn't me because there's no way that person could be me - the play-it-safe, triple-check-to-make-sure-she-has-the-car-keys-before-shutting-the-door, no-change loving me. I look at my Instagram feed and blink. People who follow me probably think I'm someone who is always planning something fun, that I'm always on one adventure or another.

I am a lot more of an adventurer than I used to be. I've grown in some ways, and in other ways, not so much. But maybe that's the way with us humans. We excel in one area and stumble in another. We go two steps forward and one step backwards. It's frustrating to be human.

Mt. Rainier. 

October involved a lot of different, out-of-the-ordinary stuff for me. My brother had come home to visit in September and stayed for a few weeks (and somehow a few weeks still wasn't enough time). Much of September (or so it felt) was spent in the hospital because we had two family members going through different things, but October was spent outside. My brother wanted to hike so we did that twice the first week of October.

The first week of October, and there was snow! I know you'll think I'm crazy, but this delighted me. I found where Autumn and Winter met.

 I didn't realize how many hiking trails are hidden away in the forest within two hours from our house. And the more you drive certain stretches of road, the more it becomes your neck of the woods. It doesn't seem so far away or so foreign.

The first hike was up the one highway by Rimrock Lake and Dog Lake where I've gone kayaking three times this year. The actual highway along the lake was shut with construction so we had to loop around on the other side (and the hiking trail was actually off that road), but there was something invigorating about driving backroads with the windows down on a crisp Autumn day. We originally were going to go do this shorter, easier hike, but the road up to it had been closed already for Winter.

Our hike was up Round Mt. (5000+ ft.). The one-lane road (with potholes and random craters - we only scraped the car's bottom once) went up the first 3-4,000 ft, leaving a 1500 ft. climb (and about a 5.5 mile roundtrip). It was 46 degrees when we got out of the car. So who knows what it was at the top.

Washington isn't known for its Autumn colors, but the sprinkling of colors we did see was so delightful. I have this thing for reds (which is why I dyed my hair red three times so far...). The few deciduous trees (a kind of conifer, I believe) in the forest hadn't started to turn yellow yet (they stand out like torches in the midst of the evergreen trees) so it was mostly these red bushes, but their colors were so crisp.

The top was certainly worth the walk. Almost instantly I forgot about my aching muscles (I'm active, but going up hills isn't something I do on a normal basis). You could see Mt. Rainier towards the Northwest and Mt. Adams towards the Southwest (it was almost hidden by a ridge of snow-covered peaks. You could trace the snowline all along the hills). Going back down was a killer, and my hands were frozen the rest of the day. But woods. I love them so much. The air is so fresh. It's so quiet. And when you get to see views of endless forest hills and valleys, you can't help but feel small.

I guess I decided I'd like to go hiking on my Birthday (? It might have been a bit more tiring an activity than I would have chosen, but it was fun. And yes, I had another Birthday. Last year I posted a somewhat melancholy, reflection on my Birthday. This year I didn't really have time. It pounced and then was gone.). We went up a different highway this time up towards Mt. Rainier National Park. More forest, but where we hiked was more of an alpine meadow than just an evergreen forest. Sadly, most of the Summer this highway was shut because there was a wildfire burning. Even as we drove up, we could see smoke rising deeper in the forest, and the car filled with the scent. Along the road, we could see places where it was more spacious and then places where the tree trunks were partially burned, but thankfully not as desolate as I feared.

Isn't this just marvelous? And it's a wildflower that's already gone to seed.

I had never gone up there in the Autumn. We usually do it in July or August when Spring has just barely arrived on the mountain. There will be snow still up there. Everything will look unbelievably green (but, of course, since I live in a desert, any green is probably unbelievably green to me), and the wildflowers will be blooming. In October it's actually brown. And there wasn't piles of snow (though, on the backside of a ridge, there was a skiff of snow). 

My brother had informed me that this hike was called 'easy'. It was 5.9 miles and only climbed like 1300 ft (more accurate = 6.7 miles and 1400 ft...and I'm gonna laugh at the 'easy' part. We made it in three hours), but it was fun because the landscape was a lot different than the other hike. You didn't arrive at some perfectly magical spot. The views were all along the way. At one point you could see Mt. Adams and Mt. St. Helens.

But the part I most loved about this hike was how far away from other people you get. When you arrive at the end -halfway down into another valley with a lake and a view of half of Mt. Rainier's face - you feel like you are the only ones surrounded by endless rolling mountains and forests and peaks and so many hidden beauties that so few people get to see. I wish I could more accurately describe the feeling. The world is breathtakingly beautiful and truly points toward its incredible Creator. 

It wasn't such a bad way to spend a Birthday, I think. Granted, I was plenty tired,  but I think hiking in the Fall is glorious. 

With my brother gone. My birthday over and outdoor weather coming to a close, I decided to tag along with my parents when they went over to Seattle (My mom always has appointments in October. Last year it was my Birthday so we went to the Aquarium. The year before that we went to Pike's Market Place). That meant I got to enjoy glorious Fall colors (Which did not disappoint. Along the river valleys, there's a lot more colors.), eat at a Moroccan restaurant (expensive but oh so worth it. Such an interesting experience, minus the dancer...that was...a bit awkward), go to an art gallery (which absolutely delighted me. The picture above gives you a small glimpse of my favorite room. One day my house will look like that. Maybe.), and see Snoqualmie Falls again (we've gone there at least three times, but one does not tired of beauty. Plus you get to go along the backroads to get there. Past nurseries, pumpkin patches, more fall colors, perfect houses, and places I want to live).

Space Needle. There's a clip of traditional Seattle for you.

I love taking pictures of old barns so we did a little detour on the way home. There's one area that is full of them so we did a bit of wandering. I'd like an old barn one day. One of those that looks old and picturesque on the outside but is still in one piece on the inside. Not because I want animals, though. I'd like it to be an artist studio. One of my crazy dreams.

No pictures of this, but last night I finished up October with a night spent in a tent in cold weather. I've never done that, but I thought it might be interesting. It got down to about 35 degrees, and it was a little painful but not bad (thanks to four wool blankets and multiple layers of clothing).  I experimented with campfire cooking, though, and that made everything absolutely wonderful.  We did stuffed, baked apples (Those are so perfect for Autumn). Homegrown potatoes. Popcorn (I didn't know one could pop corn over the campfire, but it does work, and it's so delightfully fun!). Cider. A chicken, pepper, onion mixture for on top of the potatoes. Bacon and pancakes for breakfast (the pancakes were a bit burnt, but they still tasted so good). Campfires are perfect for Fall. I hope to do that at least a few more times before it becomes an insane undertaking. Maybe make a soup?


So...whew...if you've gotten this far, you are amazing.

What was your October like? Would you say you're an adventurer? Have you been to Washington? Do you hike or are a couple mile walks more your pace? What is your favorite season for hiking? Have you cooked on a campfire before? What about when you were growing up - did your parents cook on the campfire, or do you mostly know hotdogs? What about camping in general - hardcore or vaguely aware of such a silly thing (because who wants to willingly choose to sleep out on hard ground as opposed to a bed)? Would you camp in cold weather? How cold is too cold?

Please say something. I want more than just me rambling endlessly to an empty room.